When squeezed I will squeal at some point
I always know when I have done too much when I react over sensitively to a remark. I had risen at 6 am the computer was on at 6 55 am and I was trying to get ahead. Sometimes it works but it often means I can be sitting there 12 hours later prompted by ‘Do I want to extend my time?’ No 12 hours if enough I am switching off.
A few hours later I switch the phone on bracing myself for texts and voicemails alerts. Now I am too alert to emails that distract me from what I am doing just to be sure I am not missing something. It feels like I am in a battle with emails, the phone and tasks at hand. It’s wearisome. That 12 hours notice should come up at around 7 hours 24 mins.
In the state of alertness that is demanded one call, email or text could require immediate attention which could divert me for hours. So after 12 hours of that, I had decided to drive to Leicester to pick up Tee ( a two-hour drive up and the same back). Usually, I laugh off her bossiness and I did yesterday evening until she tells me not to talk as a call comes through for her on my hands-free. First, off how come you are plugged in and not me, second, it is my car and I am giving you a lift and I knackered so don't tell me to be quiet in my car! Did you note that I wasn’t laughing anymore?
What I need to get to is something akin to that 12-hour prompt whereby I say, “I have reached my limit this human has no more capacity.” The thing is as you know if you are squeezed at some point you squeal. It is not just Tee many will demand which means I am the one who is going to have to get even better at saying “No” and perhaps expert at letting whatever false guilt comes to tell it, “ To clear aff”.