When an occasion arises to thank someone for being them, take it

Gordie Jackson
3 min readJan 5, 2018

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The other day I read a story that prompted many thoughts. John Gorman, the writer, began by telling of a dream he held of meeting the right woman and enjoying moments that for him would be magical. I recall as I pretty young child maybe even as young as four having this fantasy in which I was the dad and the mum was beside me and our kid came into our room and crept into bed and snuggled in between us. It was pretty young to hold a dream such as that, don’t you think?

I am grateful that 29 years later it happened. Do we love our kids as we were loved or dreamt of being loved?

John Gorman continued,

I wanted to plan a ceremony — not too large, but just enough for me to remember that there are a sizable chunk of people who care about my own happiness enough to fork over the cost of a plane ticket to wish us well as we started this new chapter in our lives

I can identify with this, can you? I think we all want ‘a sizeable chunk of people who care about my own happiness’. Again as a young child, maybe I was 6 or 7 I would imagine who would be at my funeral. By that age, I was probably more aware of funerals than weddings. In our community, everyone closed their window blinds as a mark of respect and the men and boys walked behind the hearse to the cemetery. I can remember as a 4-year-old walking with my father in a neighbour’s funeral procession. There was something memorable about walking as a community to lay to rest one of our own.

Christmas cards have become a way of knowing who is my community or who has been part of a community that I am no longer part. I open each card and holding it in my hand I think of the individual and remember our connection. Amongst all those cards is a history of this life.

Gorman then states he wants to know he is loved and is hoping that those who matter show.

Anyway, yes, I used to think I wanted a wedding. I thought about it a little more, and I realized I only wanted a reason for people to gather around and celebrate me before my funeral.

Life has surprised me when at times it has revealed an admirer I hadn’t noticed, a person to who you mean a lot though you never knew you did. I guess when I think about it there are those who I admire unbeknownst to them. Weddings are for guests funerals are for anyone who cared.

My head is filled with those people who matter and who I believe stand with me. Sometimes the connection is clear other times not so but somehow these folks mean something to me so much so that I carry them in my head? No! The heart is a better place where love expands to fit everyone in.

Gorman’s article prompts me to think that whenever an opportunity arises to let someone know how much difference they make, let them know.

So the next time someone is leaving work or it’s their birthday let them know. Indeed now may be the time to send that email, write that card or make that phone call to let them know.

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Gordie Jackson

Speaks with a Northern Irish accent, lives in Hertfordshire, England.