What predominates your thoughts, words or images?
Friday, 13th June 2025
I have been writing frequently to capture how I am, emotionally and mentally. I find challenges in the day, or at least I am trying through writing to measure how well I danced with the day.
Up to about three weeks ago, I would write about the day and pull it together into a story. This helped to resolve the day and move with something of a clean slate into the next.
Since then, there has been less pulling together and more incomplete drafts. Looking at these drafts, I see the frequent questioning that goes on inside.
Let’s see if there is one or two I could give as an example.
Monday, 2nd June 2025
08:50
I had a peaceful evening yesterday, and I woke up feeling simply awake. I am here before I start on the tasks of the day.
I feel those feelings I had all those years ago, before I would run, a nervous anticipation. Thankfully, they are not as overwhelming as they sometimes can be.
I also recall that once I started running, my nervous energy shifted from anticipation to action. Let’s go.
Tuesday, 3rd June 2025
I find myself in an interesting place. I was working on something that changed my state of mind. Not in a difficult way, just in a way that I felt like I wanted to open that thing that I said I would open in a moment like this. The thing is, I can’t recall what I said I would open when in this state, so I am going to write this story.
I don’t want the TV on.
Nor radio.
Nor music.
I don’t know what I want other than peace and an assurance that I will be ok. And actually, I am feeling that right now.
We really do need to think about what we fill our minds with. A good question for me is, does this bring fear or faith? If we read what brings fear, guess what we are likely to experience, yet if we read what brings faith, I am likely to live a more joyous life.
Perhaps even when fear appears in what we read or hear, we say, “I will fear no evil.” If the intention is to create fear, give it more than it even asked for by being brutally honest.
I often ask people, “What is the most significant thing that has happened since we last met?” I encourage them to just go with what comes. Most struggle to answer, although often after they say, “I don’t know,” something comes.
Just yesterday, I asked the question, and the person gave me their answer. I then asked, “Did that come as an image to you? “They said no; they rarely see images. That surprised me, as I see a lot in images. He said it was a thought, but we both struggled to understand how the thought came.
Thinking about it further, I think there are words, and there are images. There are often a lot of words. These words come in the form of an internal dialogue, so we hear them rather than see them.
People speak a lot about voices in their heads. I guess what I am doing with writing about the day is trying to identify those voices that go on inside some that question, some that encourage, and a whole array of voices.
It is as though, while writing, I can see which voices are dominant at any given moment. The ‘questioner’ is dominant. It suggests an insecure attachment.
But if I counteract it with an image, how does that work? I recall a scene, a moment from the past, where I was content or felt secure, and that can have the effect of muffling the questioner.
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