Dec 19, 2022
What comes in threes?
I was walking towards the Cathedral for ‘Carols on the Hour’ when I slipped, found myself temporarily in the air and then firmly on my front. The saxophonist playing nearby shouted over was I ok as I composed myself.
Later as I was sitting in traffic I heard a loud noise. I thought, “Did I backfire? Did I stall?” No the vehicle behind me had hit me. I got out as did the other driver. I could see no damage but pulled my car forward just to make sure. It was fine to my relief and hers. I thought, “What’s about today, I fall and then the car gets hit?” Of course, the old maxim “Trouble comes in threes” ran through my head. I like to think I don’t believe in that stuff.
It was around 6 30 pm when I heard T shout out as I heard a clattering from the bathroom. I knew immediately the shower screen had fallen. I had noticed a week ago that it seemed to be loose but satisfied myself it didn't need immediate attention.
In falling it punctured the bath! Oh no this is going to cost me money. Quickly remembering it was good that T was ok albeit she was only halfway through washing her hair.
I don’t like damage like this it thwarts my sense of a perfect world. Best I go and sit down as I have learned to do. My brain is now in processing mode and its emotional side is at its height. It runs a series of thoughts that I am familiar with, “That has ruined Christmas” “ If I thought I was going to my secret place or the City on the hill, not this year Josephine” “How am I going to shower? I must have a shower!” “How am I going to relax? I must have a bath!”
The emotions pair up with these thoughts which create quite a disco within me. I know I just have to let the process, process.
T recovers quickly going into solution focussed mode.
I shout to her from the room in which I'm allowing my brain to process, “This is where ‘My in the moment living ’ gets tested.” It was being tested and I was trying to prove it. Now I have come to accept that I have to let the brain do what it has to do, as I often say it is like a kid that needs to settle itself. So while I am letting it do that I am trying to be present, “The only thing that is real is now.”
After a while, maybe 30 minutes, I can survey the damage. I flinch but I know I am beginning to accept.
I resolve I will deal with it tomorrow and give myself the night off. Meanwhile, I drive T to the airport.
I am awakened this morning by my brain (the inner kid) crying that it won't be able to have a shower. I am aware that it catastrophises, the world has ended. The emotion always believes it so now ‘nobody’ wants to get out of bed.
I am not sure how long I twist and turn but I have come to know that at a point I will arise. I heard, “What is your reality?” and that was my cue.
g
PS there is always something to brighten our day ( at least I hope there is). Today’s brighter St Albans Sopwell Singers do Christmas.
