Often when we hear a story with a lesson like the one I shared yesterday regarding Boss versus Leader we immediately can think of people who need to see it. Some for the sake of it others because we want them to change their ways.
Yet after those thoughts, if we wait it will sit with us and after a while, we will forget about everyone else as we realise the lesson is for us.
And so it was. I got up walked to the kitchen and two rings on the hob were on. That same mind immediately shouts inwardly, “T you have left the rings on! You could have burned the house down. And how much electricity did that cost?”
I couldn’t shout outwardly as it was not yet six in the morning and she was asleep. Well, I suppose I could and maybe previously I would have but I didn’t. I still fumed.
I have come in recent days to recognise my anxiety trigger. It wants me to react instantly, immediately, urgently, emotionally but as I watch it I have noticed if I remain watching, it soon dies down. It can 90 minutes before like a ballon it is empty of its air. Then I decide how best to respond.
The lesson came to me in my fume, “Was I going to a boss or a leader?” The boss was immediate, “I am the father, I pay the bills for this gaff (us: home)”. The leader needed time. “I can see that she has been cooking spaghetti bolognese that is good so let’s recognise the good and simply ask her to remember to turn off the stove.”
Strange thing is I forgot to even mention it until around 15 hours later by which time it seemed hardly to matter.