The Vortex
I knew I had enjoyed last week free of some of the constraints that usually shackle me. I hadn’t thought of the show since I finished the Friday matinee. It was as I walked down the hill this morning that I realised how much I had forgotten. Would I remember the script? I was beginning to feel tension. Had I allowed myself to become relaxed? How could you be too relaxed? It was showing how much tension exists in the production. Doubling up roles to save money was having its cost on the actors.
I could feel myself stiffening as I pressed the keypad to enter via the stage door. I was not yet on stage though the acting had begun.
Before my coat was on the stand the demands were being made. How do I protect myself from the demands of others? Do what you have learned! Eat one thing at a time.
Somehow I move from one scene to the other. The words are the same but the emotions are not. Inside I am bothered more than usual. I reckon the body when it exists in this Vortex daily gets tolerate, not today. There is a point when you are at your optimum when you are pushed beyond it your performance is tainted.
No one seems to notice but then they are not looking for it. I notice. Yes, the words are as they should be but the temple is shaken. Only I can guard it as only I know the tremors. The defences go up and I withdraw to the most innermost place to protect that which is holy.
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