Seeking until I fall
I am in freefall. I have been for over 8 years now.
Just over 14 years ago I read a book while I was at a Retreat House near Oxford. It chimed with where I was at. I was seeking the Spirit without any add ons. I had travelled through many faith communities which reflected my need to find. I had a lot of noise, some very good noise, though now I wanted to unplug and go acoustic.
At the end of the book it gave an address to which I could write if I wished to join others having an unplugged experience. I wrote to the the address and received back details of Christian Life Communities (CLC) in my area. I made contact with one and took up their invitation to visit.
CLC is largely a Catholic movement and I as a Northern Irish Protestant did not think I would stay. I was however open to the Spirit and surprised myself that I kept returning. I have been returning, every fortnight, for 14 years!
It was almost 9 years ago that we as a group decided to do what is called a ‘Retreat in Daily Life’. It requires that over 9 months we contemplate in stages, the birth, ministry, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus.
I would set aside about half a hour a day for silence in which I would contemplate a scene from his life. The idea is we place ourselves in the scene and interact through our imaginations with it.
It was towards the end of the retreat as I was contemplating the love of God for the world that something changed in my brain. It started with the heart and somehow affected the brain.
I would call it a mystical experience to help convey what words struggle to describe. God was in love with the whole world regardless and he wanted me to be. In that moment all beliefs were burned in what seemed to be a fire of love. They didn't matter anymore. They had guided me to this place but they were not this place! No more than theology can be union with God than words describe but don't experience.
There was no where to go from here, this was it, right here, right now, I could only fall and keep falling.
g.
I did not have access to my computer tonight and I am thankful for the loan of this ipad and to guy below who helped complete today's manna. Forgive me my grammar ( didn't have access to grammarly either) as I forgive the grammar police ( you know who you are), love g.