Mirror, Mirror on the wall, how do I look?

Photo by Amie Johnson on Unsplash

“Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the prettiest of them all?” Whatever you may think of Snow White's step mum at least she asked the question.

Someone else said, “Relationships are the mirror in which we see ourselves.”

If I am honest when I offer to buy someone a drink I inwardly cringe when they ask for the most expensive. Something in me says, “Always be modest when another offers to buy you a drink.” For the most part, I let it go as I may not see the person again. But if we are regularly in contact I am likely to say something. What will the impact be if I am honest? May they take offence and slip away? May they appreciate my honesty and it strengthens the relationship?

Buying a drink is one example, the issue is about how honest we are. But then there is also how we convey our honesty. I habitually put off being honest at least verbally, but it will show. The other day it showed in my behaviour. I was annoyed and not too long later I became honest but in an angry way. It only served to upset the other and create tension in the relationship. There is also the question of whether my honesty was ‘the truth’ or only my perception.

This has happened at various points in my life and the people facing me at the time tell me it is like I switch from the person they know to another. The other is a meany. The meany from the inside is tense and serious.

I am reminded of the ‘hardness of heart’ the Bible speaks of concerning Pharaoh and his dealing with the Israelites who were enslaved. Initially, he says they can go free but a short time later his heart hardens and he changes his decision. A hard heart brings grief to the other.

What stops me from having honest conversations knowing that my honesty will show but often in anger and with someone who matters?

Somewhere in my story money became a measuring rod for deciding how people treated me. But I may have a twisted view that may only show in the mirror of relationships. The difficulty then is I see the hardness of my own heart, not a pretty sight.

g