Life gives
I found myself saying to Sarah, “Life just gives”. She is a planner and I frustrate her somewhat as I talk about ‘the moment’ ‘the present’ ‘the now’. But it is my experience that life just gives. Like last Sunday how random was that? What? Crystal from the Philippines whom I met in Jerusalem came up to me after the Peace Walk in Trafalgar Square and asked , “Are you gordi?”
Yet life gives in all the way life is. I highlighted what is an exciting positive story yet last Saturday night I received a text to inform me that Joan had passed from this world. I met Joan when I was 17 just about to turn 18 when at a conference in Birmingham. She was originally from Dublin but had settled in Birmingham years before. I was going around spouting about the dream I had while in Birmingham of ‘Christ Unites Ireland’ and she heard. She started writing to me as her heart was also to see peace in Ireland. Jimmy her husband is from Belfast, he is from a Protestant background and she is from a Catholic one.
She invited me over the following summer and I used their home as a base as I worked as a waiter at various venues in the city. They became part of my life and I visited often as I travelled here there and everywhere. They were always supportive of me, always loving. That is now 35 years ago and in that time I knew her love. I referred to her as a Godmother who came to me in my late teens.
I have struggled to know what love is certainly in my formative years, I felt Joan’s love for me as a spiritual mother.
And you know what I am going to say, “Love never dies”. That love continues despite Joan no longer being physically with us. Life gives and life takes away but not without leaving us a legacy.
Decay set into one of my wisdom teeth and it was taken out on Monday, the legacy of pain remains.
I also had to confront a matter this week that has been ongoing. One of those situations created not so much by life but by us humans and how we outwork it. It is not easy but sometimes there comes a time when we have to say it as it is. I don’t know what the outcome may be but it has caused me to reflect on how I live. Do I live free or bound by the demands of others? I want to live this life as it gives.
A friend gave me a gift, Rosary beads. Again I was reminded that life can hurt but it can also have the power to heal. Those Rosary beads as a gift brought healing.
And finally, in a moment of insecurity this week, I heard a voice say, “You will be OK”.
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