Jesus, could you help me with fear?
Sunday 1st June 2025
Jesus, although I am wondering whether I should be addressing the Holy Spirit?
It shows in a way why I go to you, as you took a human form, so I can imagine you, whereas it is not so easy to imagine the Holy Spirit. God the Father, although a spirit, I have a concept of a father, so I can imagine him.
I have been looking at Luke 24:50-53, the New International Version (NIV)
50 When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them.
51 While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven.
52 Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy.
53 And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.
Intellectually, it is difficult as the brain asks, “How is that possible?” But then it is no more difficult than the virgin birth, the resurrection, and the miracles. So, in a way, it is a reminder that this is not only about the intellect.
Anyway, my brain throws some bizarre thoughts that seem irrational all by itself. I was walking home from The Odyssey on Friday night after watching The Penguin Lessons when my mind was telling me I could be abducted by some state forces. The film is set in 1976, when Argentina was governed by a Military Junta. During that time, people perceived as a threat were bundled into a car and disappeared. My mind had picked up on this and created a fear.
That is just one example; it seems to happen fairly regularly. Often, it creates a fear of not getting things done or behaving in a way that would be embarrassing.
I look at some of the records of what you said
“Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:31
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
John 14:27
So fear has been around a long time and is common to humans. I am not alone, even though at times these irrational thoughts can feel so personal. They can be so intense, it's like the thing is happening. Often, when on tasks, I am continually battling a voice that says something like “You are not going to get this done,” “You can’t do this,” or “You won’t be able to pay your bills.”
I am reminded of the conversation I had last night at the 50th birthday celebration in Lincolnshire. I was speaking with another guest and found myself talking about when we became pregnant, and the fear was then about whether I could be a good father. A lot of that fear came due to an absence in my childhood. It was so persistent and pervasive that I had to find a way through. If it were in the material world, it would have been “up the creek without a paddle.”
The paddle in the interior world was learning to live in the moment, for that is the only thing that is happening. Actually, at Meeting this morning, someone said something to the effect of, “If I do not consider my past or future, who am I?” I was thinking that is how I try to live in the ‘I am,’ the name God gave himself when Moses asked. ‘I am’ is enough; no need for ‘ I am 60, I am male, I am a doctor,’ and so on. ‘I am’ is present.
Someone else reminded us to pay attention to the ‘Take heed’ and ‘ to the promptings of the heart.’ That is also present, and the whisper seeks to guide our lives.
So again, intellectually I know this, but there is another part of me at work that doubts it and fears. I live in the tension of usually the future, sometimes the past, trying to pull me from the present.
I feel like your disciples when the storm arose on the ship; they were afraid and woke you up, and you appeared somewhat disappointed that they couldn't hold faith. Here I am knocking on your door and saying, Jesus, could you help me with fear?
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