I remember as a child what I seem to be experiencing now
I am not sure whether it is connected to passing 50 but I have become more aware of my grandparents and older people that I visited as a child. None of them is alive yet they have come alive in me in a new way.
It is connected to the quietness I experience in my home. I no longer have the need to have some gadget on with noise emitting. The quietness of the place is enough. When I do turn the radio on and it usually via my google chrome it so reminds me of my grandfather. It is the tinny sound that comes out of the google notebook that reminds me of his radio.
I discovered a table covering a while ago that had been disregarded into some back cupboard. I took it out ironed it and placed it over the ironing board that now doubles up as a table. It reminds me of what I would see in my grandparents home.
I would visit with my paternal grandparents an aunt of my grandmother. She lived as I remember it a small cottage. She never did have a radio or TV on when you visited actually I don’t think she possessed a TV. I remember the ticking only of the clock which could be heard between the gaps in conversations. I remember then that people seemed happier to have periods of quiet between conversation. There was an open fire in most homes which would usually draw the attention of the room and the occupants found themselves mesmerised by the flames. It wasn’t uncommon for someone to fall asleep and that was acceptable.
So here am I just past 50 wondering whether all this is a sign that I have entered a stage of life I observed as a child.