Dec 4, 2022
How am I? How are you? How are we?
Ask when am I doing and when I am being?
I chose these questions as the subject for our discussion group.
Why? I am not sure, but it is the first time we have met since July 2020.
It is usually the opening question when we meet individually as friends so why not as a group?
Why do I have the need to keep asking the question before giving the answer?
“How am I doing?” “How am I doing?” “How am I doing?”
It depends on what level.
So I have levels? I do.
What should I go with first?
The spiritual level.
Well after many years of telling myself to live in the moment I find myself maybe getting there more quickly.
Of course, that means that the ability to become over-concerned remains just my speed to get to the moment has increased.
On the Quakers,
I can’t be up for too many meetings we have enough locally never mind the area. I also think we could say less at business meetings but maybe that is just unrealistic, some things take time.
My mind slips to what ‘what puts the bread on the table’ not unsurprisingly as that is probably when I am most often running to the moment. Just so much to do and ensure what needs to be done is done.
A couple of days of the week I will be awake at 5 am thinking about what has to be done. I will think at least a couple of times during the week, “Can I do this?” “I am too slow” “Should I be looking for other options?”
Yet there are great moments of humans relating to humans.
Physically I am well apart when I am over-concerned or doubting myself which affects my mental and physical health.
Emotionally I have T at home and it is good to watch her life. I have contact with people mostly by text or message, and that is the way I like it. I think because I am talking all day I don't really want to talk when I stop.
Coffee and tea are my rewards.
Moments of stillness and libraries are restorative.
In considering the question I came to the view when I am about what I enjoy I am ‘being’ whereas if it feels like work I am ‘doing’.
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