He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place
A contemplation
While contemplating Matthew Chapter 14 verses 13 to 21 it was verse 13 that caught me, “When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.” The following dialogue is what came.
g: Isho do you mind if I jump in your boat?
Isho replied, “Well, actually I wanted my own peace.”
g: “O, bit late as I have already jumped in.”
“You could jump back out.”
g: “We are a bit far out now and the walking on water is your gig in the next story.”
“Did anyone ever tell you “you are a smart arse sometimes”?”
g: “Many times but I know you love me.”
“Anyway, why you jumping in my boat?”
g: “Just need to get some space.”
“Well that was also my idea”
g: “So we are a perfect match.”
“Stop the wisecracking. You know I wanted the same space you are seeking.”
g: “Yeah, but you are the Master.”
“You say “Master” but whatever I too am human and need space.”
G: “Well we are here now I promise I’ll be quiet.”
“You clearly weren't listening when I did that talk on promises.”
g: “What talk?”
“Exactly”
Quiet other than the water, the pull of the oars and the wildlife.
Feeling a bit guilty I gesture to take the oars. He lets me.
After a while I say,
g: “I heard about John”
“Part of being out here alone was because I didn’t want to talk about it.”
g: “Sorry”
More quiet.
After a while he says,
“So what were you escaping from?”
g: “You know me I could be escaping from my shadow.”
g: “I quite like being alone or with one or two others like this.”
“Me too but as you know life demands.”
g: “I thought you would have said ‘the calling’ demands”
g: “That’s a joke.”
g: “Where do I start? There is too much to do. I don’t mind doing what is reasonable but they push for more without thought of the impact. Then there is ‘me in relationships’ sometimes I don’t know what I want. What I don’t want is to cause unnecessary hurt to others.”
“You might think I am a miracle worker but I don't know any relationships that are free of the possibility of hurt. I mean I am here thinking about John and hurting yet it was not he that hurt me but his death. We know death will cause us pain yet we live in relationships anyway believing that power of the friendship will aid us in our grief.
Not so easy when we cause pain. But you don't need me to tell you that ‘that is the risk of relationships that they can go pear-shaped’. But ‘what to do’ stay in your cave alone or be in relationships?
Look at you, you jump into my boat! I could toss you out and be justified in it but would you be hurt?
You may be, but whose hurt, you created it by how you acted. I suppose love makes us gracious so I let you stay but don’t miss the grace of the other.
You also mentioned too much being expected of you. I am not the right person to give advice as you will know that as soon as I get to the other side the people will be waiting. Will I walk away from them? Of course not and I’ll end up feeding them too.
What I can say is draw on our Father somehow he is able to give us what we need to continue. But remember what I think you alright know, ‘Live in the day’.
Now I am going to let you off at this brook unless you want to be surrounded by crowds of people.”
g: “You know what you let me stay in your boat I’ll stay with you.”
g
