Falling into silence and seeing what comes up
Good evening and so here I am again and if you are here too that is great. If you have seen the videos before you will know that I give a short introduction like I am now and then I fall into silence and then I wait and see if I am moved to say anything particularly from the silence. If not it will be silent and we will share the silence. You may well get something from the silence yourself and if you do I am happy to hear it. I don’t know whether you can put your camera on whilst you sit and watch the video and then you capture what may come for you.
(This is a transcript from the below video. You can skip down to continue the text)
So this is within what would be called a Quaker tradition of waiting in the silence. It is not normally alone it would normally be in a group but times such as they are and innovation and all that why not? So let’s fall into the silence.
The silence begins at 1 min 12 secs
The silence ends at 7 min 51 secs
So nothing particularly came, not that I felt was so significant and beyond me that it would be worth sharing. That is one part of silence but of course, there is stuff going on all the time in silence so you may be inspired to share something, what I would call ‘beyond yourself’ but whether you do or whether you don’t there is always something going on in the silence. The silence is forever present it is about us becoming one with it when we are silent, we become aware of it, it is always present.
I think, well it depends and everyone has different experiences, my experience is such that quite often a week will be compressed in the silence. Perhaps listening to what has been most important. So if I share that which was what was going on inside me. Remember typically in Quaker worship this would last an hour in silence and in that process you become more immersed in it. Of course for this purpose that might not work but who knows maybe one time we will give it a go.
You may know I have been trying to be aware of drama. There was an advert when I was a kid from an insurance company that said, “Don’t make a drama out of a crisis.”
Forever I think, “Is it don’t make a drama out of a crisis or don’t make a crisis out of a drama.”
A crisis always seems worse to me than a drama. So I have been aware of dramas and whether there is a need for drama. So I think a drama is anything whereby I enter into something in a way, well it could be helpful, but for me, they are often not.
The one that comes to mind is, I was filling my car up with petrol (gas) and the indicator on the fuel showed that it was almost half full. But when I filled it, it was like the price of a full tank. I thought, “That is weird”. Anyway, I drove and yesterday I noticed after a week of driving that the needle hadn’t moved. You may be surprised that it took me a week to notice. I thought, “What’s going on here?”
I realised that the petrol gauge isn’t working so with me, I don’t know about you, that triggers off a panic usually to do with money, “ How much is this going to cost?” “What happens if I run out of petrol”. Having said that there was another voice which said, “You have your trip calculator so you know that in about 300 miles or so you need to fill up, so you still have that.”
Me being me I can still make a drama. Observing myself I know it can a while for these things to work themselves out of my system. For me, it usually takes 90 minutes. If I were a cup of tea you wouldn’t be drinking me until 90 minutes.
If the drama is more complicated it may be a day or two later when the significance of what is bothering me subsides. Why am I telling you this? I am telling you this because it may help you. As I am becoming aware of what could be drama and not entering into it, it may be helping me. Unusually today it hasn’t bothered me in the way I thought it would.
We will fall back into silence and then I will turn the video off.