Jan 19
Every moment is pregnant with what is to be born, we just release it.
“Now when Jesus saw a great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side.” Matthew Chapter 8 v 18
I heard an interview with Hilary Mantel the other week in which she spoke of being inside the mind of Thomas Cromwell when she wrote Wolf Hall. Perhaps that was the influence when I found myself inside the head of Jesus in this particular verse.
He saw and thought, “Too many people I need to get away from here.”
“Here am I.”
Here am I. I have built up a reputation, and now I have all these people wanting something, healing, good news.
Yes I know these things are happening yet within me I am the spectator watching. I have my doubts about whether it will keep working.
Each day takes faith, not yesterday's faith, fresh faith, the faith that means you have to make yourself vulnerable, it doesn’t get easier it gets the same, you know what you have to do. Right now I need space I can’t be the Jesus these people seek, I need quiet, I need to get on a ship with a few close friends and enjoy what the sea gives.
“Who do I think I am?”
I always had this sense of mission. I wasn't just here for the scenery. Since childhood, I have cultivated it. It is symbolised in my relationship with my Father.
To be clear I am speaking of YHWH. The vastness of YHWH comes personally to me in the form of Father. Through that relationship, I have been guided and led to this place. The place that right now overwhelms me.
For whatever about my gifts, I am a person who needs everything a person needs, to be loved and love.
Every moment is pregnant with what is to be born, we just release it.
(If you wish to listen to my reading of the above click below)
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