Crossing the water

As I head towards 50 I want to say some thank yous

Charlie another friend that I met while living in Banbridge allowed me to stay at his place after I had vacated the bungalow at Lenaderg. He took me to the Europa Bus Terminal with my suitcases to board the Ulsterbus for England.

I have two days to write about the last 27 years. Will I continue to write or will I manage to compress it into two days?

I got off at Digbeth in Birmingham wanting to spend time with Siobhan and Tommy. I had met Siobhan briefly at the Eurofire conference in the city five years earlier. She heard about the Christ Unites Ireland vision and began a letter correspondence with me. That led to an invitation to come and stay with them which I accepted and from there, our friendship grew. I had visited Birmingham frequently since then working there during two summers. It would always be a special place as it was here that the Christ Unites Ireland dream had occurred.

My visits to Birmingham perhaps had been quietly preparing me for my transition to England.

A week later I was registering as a student on the Social Work degree at the Hatfield Campus of the University of Hertfordshire. I made my way to my new home on the bus to Shenley a village 9 miles away. I would live in the Nurses’ quarters of a closing psychiatric hospital.

Most of the students were 18 whereas I was now 23 and considered a ‘mature student’. It felt like we were all embarking on the same journey so I didn’t pay much attention to the age difference.

There was one other student from my course also living at Shenley, Rose. She came from inner-city London and seemed bemused with my talkativeness and endless questions both in lectures and life. It was only a matter of time before we had become friends and to my surprise not long later as we would say in Northern Ireland ‘an item’.

The relationship was kept discreet at Uni as it would be a distraction from our studies. The summer we graduated we married.

Three years later Tee was born.

From the moment I was aware I was on my way to being a father, I felt the biggest challenge of my life.

It is 28th July 2020 and this time tomorrow I will be 50. I had intended to write all my, ‘thank yous’ by now but it seems I have barely left Northern Ireland and I am just getting to 2000.

That tells me the early years are the formative years and what happened then kinda sets us for life.

The challenge now is to attempt to thank everyone who has helped me to this stage in the journey. I could just keep writing thank yous every day? Maybe I will.

I can feel strange things happening inside. I have always shied away from birthdays maybe the previous stories tell why that may be. But within me, things are moving. It is as if whether I like it or not the life within will honour itself and it is saying,

“ We have lived this earthly journey with you and we will celebrate that with all the highs, all the lows, all the losses, all the gains, all the regrets, all the successes, all the mistakes, all the right decisions, all the wrongdoing, all the right doing, we have got you this far. Yes, there is more to go but for now, it is time to stop and say thank you .”

And my response, “Ok then, thank you.”

Best day,

g