Wednesday 25th March 2020
I was up at 5 am. I am thankful that the sun rises early. It encourages me to rise with it. I took a walk down to the river which is not far from where I live.
I am going to be grateful for what is around even if I repeat myself every day.
I found I had to reclaim my time today and yet I also found myself apprehensive. The distractions of the last week had an effect on me in that I gave more time to certain activities than I was required. It was important that I reclaimed it.
I did some WFH ensuring that I kept within my hours. It is not an easy task for me as perhaps without knowing it my home is a physical representation of my interior space. My spirit lives within my body, my body lives within my home. I need to protect that interior world and my home ‘my sacred space’ needs also protecting. Just like a religious person attends their place of worship my spirit attends my home as its sacred space. ( I am interested in hearing from you if you understand this)
For years I practised the habit of leaving work at my ‘place of work’ in order to enjoy my ‘place of worship’. Now I am seriously challenged by being asked to allow the other to inhabit my worship space. I don’t feel right dealing with the other place in my space. It is an unwelcome intrusion not of my choosing. I can see there will be a need for me to create boundaries which is likely to mean challenging assumptions.
The space I and my daughter inhabit is small. At this time it is not easy for people to go out so it is not realistic to expect me to have sensitive and potentially difficult telephone conversations in our shared space. I have a kitchen table in an open-plan space. The tumble dryer in my bedroom is the only other place to put a laptop. You see what I mean about assumptions being made about peoples’ space and facilities. You can tell that this has exercised me greatly. I am sure you are also dealing with something that is challenging linked to the lockdown we are now in.
Have you also experienced a missing of someone? Being together at this time is like Christmas, Easter, Bank holidays and summer holidays all rolled into one so perhaps it is not so strange that we find ourselves missing someone. I witnessed this when someone found themselves upset that at this time a person dear to them was not around.
A friend of mine has written about how some of us stressed by the Coronavirus may be overeating
I found myself in the early evening walking back to the river as you will hear in the above video.
I admit I hit a low point today. I did take a bath at around 6 pm and then fell asleep. I was grateful for a Whatsapp group who wondered where I had been. I shared with them what you have just read. Actually one thing I have n’t said is that the heightened emotional state I am now experiencing is akin to what I would experience at times when living through the troubles of Northern Ireland. It was strange to feel these emotions that I can’t recall feeling since I left Northern Ireland 26 years ago. That has unsettled me as has the feeling evoked by as they say ‘bringing work home’. The Whatsapp group reached back sensing my vulnerability and I benefitted.
The Hobbit is a story that has stayed with me since I first read it at school aged 12 or 13. Curiously I borrowed it 4 weeks ago from the library and have been dipping into it. I am not particularly into High fantasy ( Middle earth) but the story is a good one. Bilbo Baggins liked life just as it was when along comes a Wizard wanting him to go an adventure to retrieve a ring. He says no but as time moves on so too awakens a part of him that wants to seek beyond his mountain. That part of him had to win first before he had any hope of retrieving the ring.