Being pulled from the present by dead voices

Photo by Jonathan Smith on Unsplash

Others are good but sometimes what they remind me of is not. You know how it is? You feel like you are sailing with the wind on your back and then someone comes along and says, “ You haven’t got that sail right. You need to rework your rigging.”

It is a surprise for all feels well to me. I was enjoying the breeze against my face and now you are asking me to rework the rigging? It awakens the inner voices which can be negative to the self and the other. “You don’t know what you are doing and they don’t know what they are talking about?” There is no logic to those inner voices. And then the feelings can come which are not good about self or them.

In time another reworking has to occur as these critics are not productive. And then some other voices come, “Let’s face this challenge, let’s use the energy of those critics to begin the rework. Even if the other is wrong let’s make it work for my good.”

And then from wherever, those critical voices gather a few of their ancestors and decide to have a party. While I reworking they are shouting their obscenities, willing my downfall, reminding me of what they thought of me in the past and despite my efforts to rework I will always be whatever they think.

But who are they? And why does what they think have any power? They are voices of the dead. They may have been alive once they may have even had the power to decide what was good and what wasn’t, what I was good for and what I wasn’t. But right now on this sea, there is only me. There are no rules, no right and wrong, just life. If I hear these voices it is because I have given them life. I have walked away from this present moment where the waves are beating off the boat and I can taste the salt in my mouth and I returned to ‘past places’.

The sea is calling me to the now, the wind is wanting me to feel it fully on my face for it is here that life is fully present and alive. I am of the moment and the moment is of me.

Best day,